You realize that our mistrust of the future makes it hard to give up the past. We can’t give up our concept of who we were. All those adults playing archaeologist at yard sales, looking for childhood artifacts, board games, CandyLand, Twister, they’re terrified. Trash becomes holy relics. Mystery Date. Hula Hoops. Our way of getting nostalgic for what we just threw in the trash, it’s all because we’re afraid to evolve. Grow, change, lose weight, reinvent ourselves. Adapt.
—Chuck Palahniuk - Survivor (via mind-is-a-terrible-thing)
Pulp Fiction (1994)
High Maintenance // Olivia
You wake up at 5am so you can be at work by 9. You spend five dollars on a cup of coffee because you know you won’t be home later in the day to brew a pot for yourself. Anywhere else in the country walking two miles each day would be upsurd but in New York, it’s routine and after a while you no longer get blisters on your feet and your legs become toned even though you haven’t stepped foot into a gym. Though you could probably save a large amount of money by preparing your own meals, you decide to eat out instead, because in this city you can have any kind of food you like & you can probably even have it delivered to your apartment-if you are at home, that is. You pride yourself on successfully making it on to the subway before the doors close & it’s a terrible feeling when you miss the train by a few mere seconds. Especially when you are running late for work. As upsetting as homelessness is, you become numb to the sight of a barefoot man laying on the street corner. You hate Times Square, yes it is lively and entertaining, and quintessentially new York, but you avoid it like the plague simply to refrain from snatching the flyers out of the hands of the college-age kid who asks if you want to see a comedy show. While you were growing up you admired celebrities and were star struck when you saw your favorite singer in concert, but the longer you live here you realize celebrities are a dime a dozen & you almost feel like you exist on the same level as them-except they have a beautiful flat in SOHO & you live in a prewar in Astoria. When you meet someone new one of the first questions you ask is “How long have you lived in the city?” and then you both discuss how hard NY is but how you wouldn’t trade it for the world. As a girl, you learn that New York City life is nothing like that of Carrie Bradshaw’s in Sex & the City & that you will probably never be able to afford to live on Perry Street. That attractive man you just passed on Lexington avenue, he’s probably gay, & he probably spends more money at Sephora than you do. Dropping $50 at one bar on a Friday night is typical & after awhile you decide to stick with cheap beer instead-though it really isn’t that cheap in the first place. You learn to love brunch & it becomes hard to eat an omelette without a mimosa or bloody mary. Having dinner at 9:00 is not strange, in fact it’s fairly normal & getting home at 3am could easily be considered an early night. You don’t have house parties & you rarely meet at a friend’s apartment, instead you opt to meet for coffee or drinks. Hearing three different languages being spoken on the subway is not uncommon and you eventually become comfortable with the idea that Anglo-Saxons are almost a minority in this city. Every day you will miss your hometown and everyday you will see something that makes you remember why you left your hometown. When the high is 45 degrees it is considered “Warm out”. When you meet someone new & you strike up a good conversation it’s not weird or forward to ask for their number, it is actually to be expected, because if you don’t you will probably never see them again. When you see a subway rat for the first time it will gross you out, but after a while you don’t even notice them-even late at night when they become more adventurous and make their way onto the actual platform. A stranger on the street is going to ask you for money at some point during your day. Though all of your Facebook friends are getting engaged, married, or having children, you are looking for a date for valentine’s day & even though you are approaching your mid twenties you cant imagine “settling down”. Even though you pride yourself on looking cute, when it is 12 degrees outside you exchange that “cute” pea coat for a 90% down, puffy, ankle-length coat that makes you look like the Michelin man. You have accepted the fact that you probably are never going to have your own dishwasher or washing machine-hence the reason why you rarely cook at home & why you are close friends with the Korean lady at the laundromat.
You realize that even though you are doing things most non-New-Yorkers will never understand you wouldn’t trade your life in this city for anything. Because after all, a bad day in New York is still better than a good day anywhere else.